captain swan.

mycroftly:

when guardians of the galaxy finished and the credits started, a few people got up and started leaving and i said to my dad “this process is what i like to call ‘weeding out the weak’” and the woman in front of me heard me and laughed so hard she choked on her drink

(via petercapcldi)

ouyangdan:

leggywillow:

truezodiacfact:

Moth pit

My reaction to this gif went from stone-faced “this is dumb” to full-on snickering gleefully in about fifteen seconds.

you can’t just drop shit like this on my dash i hurt myself laughing

kissingeverysinglenight:

thekpnc:

kissingeverysinglenight:

if you’re ever feeling down about ur parents doing a crap job,
just know my mum and dad thought my birthday was the 14th of August for the first 6 years of my life, and literally my entire family celebrated it on that day. It wasn’t until they enrolled me at school they checked my birth certificate again, 

my birthday is on the 11th. 

I’m sorry I laughed.

image

(via teamfreebagels)

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